and then... there was no date

The excuse is that the wheather is awfull... which is true, but still feels like an excuse.

She wants to re-schedule for a less grumpy day. I'm quite sure days here don't get un-grumpy until March. 

Bad CiFs, bad!

(because of emotional honesty, this post will be written in Spanish)
Yo no tengo madre... I mean... si tengo, pero actuo como si no tuviera ni madre, ni amigas, ni gente que me importa en el genero femenino... luego, no tengo madre
Las cosas de este tipo siempre empiezan disque inocente: yo en MSN esperando que alguien como K. o M. se aparecieran, cuando se aparece una tipa X, amiga de un amigo que me presentaron hace ya un par de meses y que randomcisimamente obtuvo mi MSN. El asunto es, yo se que la tipa X me miro buco en una fiesta, y que si me busco en msn, obvio que sal quiere este huevo. Si no fuera porque yo siempre me voy temprano de las fiestas y porque realmente la tipa no me gusta, a lo mejor pasa algo en la fiesta.
Volvamos a hoy: yo chateando con la tipa y el flirteo inocente, cuando la conversacion se torna... rara... una cosa lleva a la otra y estamos hablando de que los dos estamos solteros y no hemos tenido pareja en lo absoluto en largo tiempo. Next thing I know, la tipa esta en mi apartamento. Next thing I know, la tipa esta en mi cama. Next thing I know... que no tengo madre.
Una hora alli y despues disque... mmm... y yo que iba a decir? pues nada, asi que ella dijo que se tenia que ir...
Y me jode conmigo mismo porque siento que me estoy aprovechando de una tipa que me tripea y que es de mi tamano pero pesa el doble que yo, y que por ende se mete a slut porque cree que esa es la unica forma de conseguirse a un tipo. Digo, yo dentro de la hijueputada bien claro que solo para ya y eso es todo, ademas ella tiene sus 30 anos bien merecidos. Pero igual... yo no quisiera ver a ninguna de mis amigas llegar al limite de irse a la casa de un tipo random en medio del dia a eso y despues irse a la suya... que focop... yo no tengo madre.

"I never saw change without a fire"

The title of the post has little to do with the meaning of the song. The phrase stands by itself and it's a reflection of the things that have been happening lately. Lets enumerate them:
1. Se. finally moved in completely a couple of days ago, and the apt. already looks like it's a completely different place. K. always says I need a women's touch in my life (mostly refering to her touch), but the kind of turn-around that Se. is bringing to my life is kinda good. I won't compare living with her to living with S., both have a value on itself. But I will say I now understand I needed somebody like Se. in my life.
2. I called DB on the phone today. Why would this be fire? Well, you all know I don't date (not for now at least), and calling a women I have a romantic interest on just for the sake of it does not cope well with the no-dating policy. I must say, it was less weird than I thought and I quite enjoyed the conversation, which by the way, went well for 30 minutes of so... until Se. spoke and DB got weird. Lets see what happens on Thursday.
3. As I said in the previous post, I'll move away of this city for 6 months. Don't know when yet, but I'm out of here by the end of the month. Something you don't know is that since 2004 the most continous time I've live in a city is the year and four months I've been in this one so far. Lets hope everything goes well in the new one, where I apparently will live with Vic. More on that later.
4. After a couple of months of relative depression because of lack of projects, two huge things appear for me at the Centre. Don't know yet what's gonna happen because I don't know my new employer's rules on thatl. Lets hope I can take both oportunities.

On the concept of 'purpose'...

No es ejercicio si no lo haces!!!!

We have a son!

According to 'Uncyclopedia' ("an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies"), Jesus Marx is "what happens when Lenin finds Jesus' DNA and mixes it with the remains of Karl Marx's DNA."
:P
Here a picture of baby Jesus Marx.

I'm out of here!

The CiFs is changing city again... Not for long though. I got a 6 month temporal post right where M. and V.C. live.
Lets see how that goes... not sure yet when I'm moving, but I did ask DB on a date... wish me luck!

Entiendes lo que quiero decir?

¿Me explico?
¿Entiendes lo que quiero decir?

La verdad no me explico y no me entiendes que quiero decir. A veces pienso (y no digo) que es porque conozco demasiadas palabras, que mucho explico y poco entienden. O, ¿será que poco entiendo y nada explican?

¿Será mucho? Digo, ¿pedir que me entiendan sin que me explique?

I'm the happiest man alive

Generally speaking, I'm a pretty satisfied BlackBerry user. My sole frustration was the limited options for customization. If you own a 8220, you know that you can change ringtones, the main screen's wallpaper, and the order of your icons in te home page. For anything beyond that, you'll need to download a theme. Now, a problem common to all BB users is that that free themes are usually crappy, and the cool ones cost up to $US 10, which btw you can't try before buying.

This is when my parent's education kicks in. A basic rule in my house is: if you are not getting what you want, it's simply because you are not trying hard enough. So, I started trying harder, and that usually means do-it-yourself.

I'll speare you the details and make this long story short, I found the software used to create themes! Before I had a boring black screen in the outside display... now I have a beautiful picture of the National Scottish Monument in Carlton Hill from my last try to Edinburgh. Before I had only four icons arranged horizontally in the home screen... now I have two columns of four vertically arranged icons. I changed the font of all text inside the phone, the image on the back on the menu and when I'm receiving a call, and some of the battery and signal status icons. Now the phone does feel like its mine :)

A little disclaimer about the image: instead of the black boxes wallpaper, I have a picture of the Marx brothers (I'm not talking about Groucho, Gummo, Zeppo, Chico and Harpo, instead it's a picture of The CiFs, with L.C. and M.A.), but for the sake of annonimity it has been replaced. The replacement image wasn't choosen randomly, the black boxes appear when I receive a call or an email. Also, I have the Facebook, BB Messenger and MSN Messenger icons on the left column! Maybe if the "historic trio" gathers again in NYC, I can put a pic of that in the outside display (the last time the trio gathered, all members felt too fat for pictures).

It's the small things (and the ones I do by myself) that make me happy!

"I'm Crazy" too... but in a cute way (I hope).

Back on December 31, 2006, a couple of minutes before the beginning of the new year, my brother M.A. asked: "any new year resolution?" I simply answered "keep winning." One year after that, over the phone, he asked the same and I answered the same. For those who doesn't know, it's a reference to Kirsten Dunst's conversation with Paul Bettany in the excessively corny, 2004 movie "Wimbledon." Seems kind of obvious to point out that when you are doing good and things are going just fine, you start to fear failure. Both those years were very good for me, and of course, "keep winning" was both a determination to keep working on this path and an invocation to the gods (or goddesses, not trying to discriminate here) of success so they keep helping me.

I'm glad this year I did not get a phone call from M.A. at midnight. First because he would have caught me: I was not in a party at my friends house as I said I was gonna. And second because if he would have asked the question, I would have probably answered "this year I'll try to get a life."

Even though I had a couple of invitations to events which ranged from wine and cake near the fireplace to a road trip to the mountains, I spent new year's eve à la Holden Caulfield (minus the prostitutes, of course). Yes... I walked around the city until around 4 p.m. when I got back to the apartment and simply sat there reading and chatting to K. on the BB. At 10:30 p.m. I went to bed, and that's how the new year caught me dreaming about only-god-knows-what.

2008 was twice as good as 2006 or 2007 together, but I also worked my ass off into alienation. Ironically enough, I ended up spending January 1st with the girl who suggested the wine and cake thing near the fireplace. I must say, she also spend the 31st by herself, since she didn't feel like going to a party after I declined her invitation. In the cifs-universe she is called DB, and we talked up until midnight about life, art, past relationships, current work dilemmas, our attitudes towards love, the geographic location of Moldova, and even christian fanatism. I beg you, don't read too much into this. I simply do not date, and she only hangs out with me this way because she knows she is safe with me (she said I'm the only person in this city that has walked her home without expecting a goodnight kiss).

What I realized that night is that despite we are both very crazy in very different ways, she would be very close to what I want in a women... but only if this was home.

Of course, as the clock was hitting 10:00 p.m. we talked about my self-imposed alienation, my need to keep moving, and how she was ready to call this city home. But even as I knew we both had spent a shitty new year's eve, I remained firm in the way I rationalize the human condition, in how floating is only possible because there is no anker, and how she should keep doing what we both have been doing since 2000: sailing from port to port leaving no victims behind. She, being slightly older than me, hasn't figured out the world either; but to me is pretty evident that she finds my attitutes kinda cute and slighly childish. 

"I knew what he was thinking: how young I was, how I didn’t know anything about the world and all, what happened to guys like me and all."

The bottomline is, the new year's resolution  remains the same: keep winning. If someone acuses me of not making any sense, like Holden I will call myself crazy before anybody else does. But you gotta admit, my insanity is also kinda cute.